Once Upon a Time in Mexico

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This movie was so bad that it was actually painful to watch. Honestly, it's so over-the-top and outlandish that it's even impossible to enjoy this movie as a mindless pleasure. I would have forgiven the terrible dialogue and the worthless plot if the action was good, but it wasn't. The action in DESPERADO was ten times better. In ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, it wasn't even always clear what was going on, and at times it seemed more like caroon violence than anything else. Avoid at all costs!

Cutting to the chase? I was disappointed with this one. I really enjoyed Desperado and of course El Mariachi so I was expecting a bit of a spectacle here. Alas it was not to be, and amongst a list of niggles are the haphazard storytelling, action sequences that could have come from a Chuck Norris movie, and a lack of polish all round. Now I may be missing the point, and in some ways it appears that this was intended as a film that was thrown together by a bunch of friends having fun, but I just think it misses the mark. Sure, Johnny Depp is great as ever, and Antonio does his thing (but with less charisma and humour than before).. I dunno, I'd like to say it was great, but I ended up bored, and thats never a good sign (considering it's quite rare with me, I can usually find something redeeming in even the most simplistic of film).

Initially I though the video store had accidentally given me the 'Once Upon A Time In Mexico: Bonus Materials' disc and I was watching the 'Deleted Scenes' and 'Outtakes'. Silly me! I didn't realize that the deleted scenes and outtakes ARE the movie. Ingenious! Who would have thought to throw out the whole movie and just assemble the deleted scenes and outtakes?! Brilliant! If you desire a movie that will evacuate your skull and intravenously flush it with senseless violence, meaningless images and gratuitous foul language, then I highly recommend it! I rated this movie the same as the level of intelligence required to watch it.

First I must say the special effects were hot. But everything else about the film was luke warm or left me cold. Even Selma Hayek's beauty was muted. The story was just plain bad. Frankly, I had a hard time keeping score or even caring who came out on top in this one. I couldn't wait for it to be over.

No cohesion, no plot - no idea what on earth was going on. A complete waste of two hours for a movie with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever. Quite a shock to see so much talent wasted. But then, what do you expect from the director that made Spy Kids. I'm staggered that anyone has anything to say that's positive about this film. Quite simply terrible.