Gabriel's Inferno: Part One

So terrible that it becomes hilarious. Like, for real, everything couldn't be any worse. It looks like it was made by eight year olds with a phone camera and poor imagination

This movie has all the fascination of watching a train wreck unfold. I made it about halfway purely to test how much cringe I could handle. The acting is terrible right off the bat. The script is of such a quality that Twilight and 50 Shades begin to look like genuine Golden Globe contenders. This movie should be titled as Gabrielle's Wet Wood, it's a non-starter that should have never left the pages of its book. I've pinched loafs with more heat than this.