Barely Legal

OK, let's be real here. It's a teenage sex comedy. We all know what to expect. So the criteria are not how it provides insight into the human condition, they are whether it is funny. The sad truth is that most teenage sex comedies suck as far as laughs go. The exceptional ones --- your American Pie or Superbad --- keep you laughing pretty much nonstop, but 90% of the movies in this category consist of not just a formulaic plot but also not a single laugh. So how does this compare? Well in the hope that the screenwriter one day reads these reviews, let me give my analysis. Naomi Selfman has written a few movies in this vein, but the two best (IMHO) are this and the 18 Year Old Virgin. The good thing about both of these movies is that they are strongly written from the female point of view, which is not just empowering, blah blah, it also provides for a whole new line of jokes. ON THE OTHER HAND both these movies suffer in the script, primarily I suspect from lack of time. Once the script seemed finished, it should have been put aside for three months or so, then revised. And perhaps had a collaborator brought on board. In both cases the overall premise for the movie is good. It is presented, and grabs our attention right away, the pacing throughout the movie is good, and little time is wasted on nonsense. The problem is with the jokes themselves. These come in a few different forms sometimes a good joke lives off tension. The audience can see what is going to happen, but it doesn't quite happen, then it doesn't quite happen, then it almost but doesn't quite happen, and then, just when you've given up, it happens. - other times a good joke happens out of left field, totally not what and when you expected Both of these are missing in the scripts. The jokes, while funny, are formulaic --- we see the setup, and there's no variation or surprise in the pacing. a third problem (and this really seems a problem with rushed scripts) is the setup that goes nowhere. For example the on-going water balloons in this movie. They seemed like there was supposed to be a setup there --- but there was never a payoff. If a payoff couldn't be figured out, the setup should have been stripped out the movie. the final problem is that the absolute best moments in comedy come from the serial gag that builds up in ever more ludicrous ways. We see the first joke and laugh, then somewhat later we see an extension to it and laugh, then even later we see a truly over the top version of it and laugh till our guts ache. There was none of that sort of ongoing serial gag in this. For example the setup of Sue with the washing machine was a good start. But that should have continued to the vacuum cleaner not being the mild gag that it was but more something like she starts to clean (in front of everyone else) realizes what's happening, and even so loses control in front of them while they all stare. Then even later we see something unexpected like she's walking along the street with her grandmother, a pneumatic drill starts pounding up the street, and they both go flush and start twitching and trying to control themselves, while the grandmother says "I guess you really are one of us" or something. I do hope Naomi Selfman gets a chance to write more of these comedies from the female point of view, but I ALSO hope that she has a chance to spend more time on the future scripts so that they move from around "better than average" to "OMG I could not stop laughing". We'll see.

Another reviewer clearly must be kidding with the cinematic masterpiece review he (or she?) has written. That is my take on his Shakespeare comparisons and more. On the other hand, there are certain things that really work for the movie. One of them is that this is not baiting or teasing you without delivering. So while other movies may promise skin and deliver nothing, this does give you that ... satisfaction. And there is also the fact that you have three female protagonists. Now you may feel that this is not representing women or womanhood correctly. But is that what the movie is here? An educational how to do it? No sir (and miss/missus etc)! This is supposed to be a comedy about girls coming (stop snickering) into adulthood. Maybe it is worth snickering. Again, this is not meant to be seen as anything serious and while it is far from "a cinematic masterpiece", it also isn't a disaster at all.

"Barely Legal" is an Asylum "comedy" which recycles the plot of the studio's "18 Year old Virgin" with three virgins instead of one. It's also not as good as that movie; for one, there's no Olivia Alaina May. This one has more actresses getting naked, but none are as attractive as her. The plot is something to do with three girls who were born on the same day deciding to lose their virginity on their 18th birthday. They are apparently not related, and yet all live under the same roof, in a house which is not unlike a mansion. They seem to have no parents. Anyway, one is a Christian, the other is a * (except she's supposed to be a virgin...) and the other is... blonde. There's not much to say about her, or any of the three leads, aside from that. This movie is also set at a party which seems to provide endless opportunity for the three leads to have bizarre, and even traumatic, sexual experiences. There's a video game control pad used as a sex toy and a scene in which a blind man (with guide dog) apparently tries to apply peanut butter to the * of one of our heroines before being called away... you can guess what happens next. Speaking of vaginas, funnily enough, the only one of the three leads who shows hers is the buttoned down, Christian type. She's also the least attractive of all of them. Much of what happens in this movie could actually make some kind of an impression if it were in a better movie. The handling is just so weirdly distancing it's like the movie is a prolonged dream sequence. Or is it a nightmare? You be the judge. It is, however, better than some of the later Asylum "comedies". At least you won't need therapy to get over its 'gross-out' moments.

A film about 3 girls trying to lose their virginity at a birthday party. What could go wrong!? The first 15 minutes are pretty awful, in almost every way. The acting is pretty poor, probably due to a bad script and some things just don't make sense, e.g. All the morning drama and sex, then suddenly its only 6:30am! And the fact that 3 18yo girls can own that house with a pool?! Once the party kicks off, the movie kinda does too. It does actually have some funny moments that aren't so cringe-worthy that it just falls flat. The acting remains hit and miss throughout for pretty much every character, bar maybe the character of Eric who was probably the best of the lot. It's most likely the tamest pool party you'll ever see in these kinds of movies. If you want to see a lot of * and a bit more at times, then this movie will be enjoyable to you. The 3 leads are very attractive and you get to see quite a bit of them. Given who made the movie (The Asylum), it's not actually that bad, and decent by their standards. If you have 90mins to waste on a forgettable yet OK movie, that does provide some laughs, and tonnes of *, then this might whet your appetite but it's not one you'll ever watch again after.

Cheryl, Lexi, and Sue are best friends since birth when their mothers met at the hospital. It's their 18th birthday coming up. Cheryl plans to lose her virginity to boyfriend Jake. Sue is religious and shocked at Cheryl's plan. Lexi is sexually promiscuous and does everything except losing her virginity. After a misunderstanding in confession at church, Sue agrees to join the other two in the virginity plan. This is pretty low quality in almost every aspect. The acting is weak although the girls are willing to show some skin. The writing tries to be funny. It has some outrageous moments that are almost funny. The production is really low budget. They seem to have rented a house and made the movie all in that place. This is a low-budget indie version of a sex romp. It's on par with one of those other alternate American Pie movies with less money.