Amy Schumer: Growing

I've always thought her face looked like Miss Piggy (which is not meant as an insult because Miss Piggy is cute) on Sesame Street and that she is not funny, but I thought I'd give this a chance. Pushed myself to watch for 15 minutes and then gave up. Wearing a nightgown-like tent, and lifting it up to show her bump, she is just so not funny. It's sad. She is so grateful she finally got married and having a kid. Talentlessness seems to get center stage.

Look, I like Amy. I mean, before going into this Netflix special I had only seen her movies and her show, both had their good parts and their bad parts. This special was funny, heartfelt and actually kind of sweet. Basically everything I'm looking for. She made me laugh out loud, because at some parts I related and I felt seen! I hardly ever leave a review but when I looked at this IMDb page I saw that she had received 2,4 stars and that just felt wrong. Because it was better than that. And for people to hate and to be negative just because that seems like the thing you should be proves that you didn't learn anything from the special. Don't be negative, or else the shame wizard from Big Mouth will knock on your door.

I always give female comedians a fair chance with an open mind and the opportunity to change my mind. But I was disappointed yet another time. I even watched through the whole thing hoping there would be some good parts in the end, but no. As a man I don't find pregnancy, period and bridesmaid jokes relatable or funny. Ironically all my favorite female comedians are lesbians who speak about less girly things (Ellen, Tig, DeAnne Smith and Mae Martin). So a tip to female comedians: talk about things everyone can relate to.

Netflix must be entwined in some sort of mutually assured destruction pact with this painfully unfunny, burned-out lump. Wasn't the first sinking of the USS Schumer 'comedy special' the reason Netflix had to detonate their entire rating system? I'm not just 'throwing rocks' here. Like Malcolm McDowel in 'A Clockwork Orange', with his eyelids mechanically pryed open, I forced myself to watch 'Amy Schumer Growing' and had to stop myself from leaping from my rooftop only minutes in to this awful disaster. GIVE IT UP, NETFLIX! There's nothing you can do to make us want this tripe.

She bought me with things she said about her husband. I caught myself crying. It was so beautiful. I remember watching her for the first time in some other special 10 tears ago. I was laughing hard and the only thing that crossed my mind was: wow, she was born to be a comedian. Wish you all the best, Amy! And thank you for making my days better.