Dark Figures

Definitely not a labor of love. They misspelled Tucson, AZ. It's not spelt Tuscon. Have some respect. Get it right. Overall it's worse than if you just took your camera camping. This dude talks about his pee too much.

Your enjoyment of this film will largely depend on your expectations going in. This is largely a hang-out movie, with most of it's run time being simply hanging out and watching the antics of this group of friends. It's all pretty surface level stuff too, there's nothing really gripping or complex about these relationships. However, I was amused enough to keep watching, in spite of the lack of anything spooky happening in this "horror" movie. When the scares do start around 50 minutes in, it's just as amateurish and lacking in any true originality. If you enjoyed the first half of the film for it's characters, I think you will feel a slight sting when they begin to die. I found a lot of what I enjoyed about the second half of the film was imagining myself in their situation and wondering how well or poorly I'd cope. Ultimately, it's not a great movie. Maybe not even good. That being said, if you want something easy, inoffensive, and are feeling maybe a tad lonely, then turn this on before going to bed. I'm sure a horror movie doesn't want to be labeled as relaxing, but there you go

Well, given this 2020 movie's low rating, then I must admit that I was somewhat hesitant about sitting down to watching "Dark Figures". But given the fact it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen and because I had the opportunity to watch it, of course I did. I shouldn't, but I did... This movie was bad, oh so very, very bad. First of all, the movie is one of those atrocious 'found footage' movies, which are a complete and utter sub-genre of movie in itself. I've never enjoyed movies in this genre, and had I known that "Dark Figures" was one such movie, I wouldn't even have bothered starting it. And the movie is filmed with someone's mobile phone camera or something. To add authenticity to the 'found footage' dung, I suppose. But it just didn't work. No, not even in the least bit. Getting over the hurdle of it being a 'found footage' movie was challenging enough, but then adding injury to insult by having it been shot on a mobile phone camera was just slapping the audience in the face whilst already down for the count from it being a 'found footage' movie. I will say that the storyline itself was interesting, up to a point, then it just went to pieces. And I must admit that seeing those people painted completely black in body paint just didn't work. It wasn't scary. It wasn't mysterious. It was just downright laughable and ludicrous, that's what it was. So writer and director Alex Tait didn't really win me over here. The acting in the movie was actually good enough. It wasn't grand Shakespearian performances, but hey, has it ever been that in a 'found footage' dung? Mind you that have to delve about two-thirds into the movie before anything of any worth actually happened, and by that time, then you just don't care about the story or the characters. The story had been dragged out for such a long time by then, without anything happening, that you just start to give up on it. And it didn't really help the movie much that the characters were rather bland and mundane. Except for those 'shadow people' whom were just ridiculous. And that whole totem thing was just a swing and a miss. Sure, it looked interesting enough, but what was supposed to be stone was just nothing but lightweight material, and when you saw it moving about when the girl tied to it was moving about, you just can't help but laugh. It was so stupid. Give "Dark Figures" a wide berth, because it was bad. It was really, really bad. Even for a 'found footage' movie, then the 2020 movie "Dark Figures" was bad. I am rating Alex Tait's movie a grand one out of ten stars. This was definitely and undoubtedly among the top three of worst 'found footage' movies I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

Kelly McCart - playing Hanna in the movie - was one of the single worst actresses I've ever had the displeasure to witness. The rest of the cast is not impressive, save for perhaps above singing performance by the character of Mia. Hanna, however, brings forth a singular disaster of a performance, made no greater by the rest of the shambles of the movie. I love low budget found footage horror movies, so don't take this as criticism from a high-browed scholar of film. Rather, view this in the light of someone who *likes* low budget movies with amateur acting, telling you that this is NOT worth it. The monsters are lame, the plot is ill explained, and Kelly McCart's spectacularly terrible performance makes me wish a petition could be signed to ban her from future filmwork.

Oh my, where to start here? The acting is as bad as the script - so at least there something went hand in hand. But what really made me cringe were the... "special effects" of the "evil shadow"-thingy... that simply looks like it was done with the wrong software - and (obviously) without any knowledge for sfx. Bad, simply bad, bad, bad. I had a pretty good mood today (actually, before I started watching the movie) so let me say this kindly: Please. Please refrain from writing any more scripts and keep a good distance away from any camera. The bunch of you are simply no real filmmakers. And since I've have seen a lot of movies already, I dare to say that you will never be. So now, where do I get my wasted time back?

These kids go to a native American burial ground or something to film a project for extra credit. But you never see one native. Instead, you see strange white people covered in mud or tar, something black, killing off the kids. And they are killed off in the most cheesiest of ways. Each character has the acting skills of a wet paper bag, the personality of a wet dog, and the looks of last place popularity contestants. They try to throw lust, adventure, horror, and gore into the film, but it all fails. In cosmic proportions. Only watch this if you need a laugh or love to see idiot kids die due to their own stupidity. 6 minutes into this "movie" I was ready to see each of them die. Especially the annoying stoner.